Story

A couple came to therapy for help with their marriage.

Therapist: “What brings you in today?”

Wife: “He’s so inconsiderate. Every morning he leaves the dresser drawer open. I get out of bed, bang my shin, and start the day angry.”

Therapist: “Sir, what do you think?”

Husband: “That dresser’s been in her family for decades. The bottom drawer squeaks loudly. She barely sleeps, so I leave it open so I won’t wake her.”

They’d stopped talking and lived in assumptions. If she’d asked why the drawer was open, she would have learned he was trying to be considerate.

Why it happens

We’re all just trying to survive. Survival shows up as yelling, shutting down, or tears. In harder seasons it can look like addiction, betrayal, or control. One person’s survival can be the other person’s pain. People hurt each other—often without meaning to. Couples can overcome a lot with forgiveness, new skills, and honest conversation.

How to reconnect

Understand that your spouse’s reactions are about survival, not malice. Press pause on your own story long enough to get curious about theirs. That’s where empathy and intimacy grow.

Communication helps

Ask open-ended questions. Listen to understand. Reflect what you heard and how it lands. These simple moves create safety and clarity.

Action steps

• Set aside a regular time to talk—often after a shared positive moment or a drive.
• Bring curiosity and kindness for your spouse and yourself.
• Practice questions and responses that build trust.

Workshop info

Join our Marriage Workshop — Jan 10, 2026, 9 AM – 4 PM 4744 Summit Bridge Rd, Middletown, DE

Learn more: Daybreakcounseling.org